One of the most resonate quotes from Dollhouse: "I felt like it was a crime we were committing together and everytime someone calls me a victim, I feel like the biggest liar in the world." - Echo as Susan
I'm giving science fiction novel writing a chance thanks to Jane Espenson's tweets encouraging people to write. The concept needs a series to complete it, unless I was 1,000 page books like Robert Jordan. Also, SFX magazine is following me on twitter. They seem to follow everyone who follows them, but it is still cool.
Sometimes people say certain great artists (authors, painters, etc) were insane. If that is true, maybe I have a leg up. ;) I don't really consider myself crazy, not Poe or van Gogh crazy...but I have things I can reach in the depths of my soul that may help me create a novel worth reading.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
WOW
Now Jane Epenson (writer of episodes of Gilmore Girls, Firefly, Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Battlestar Galactica, Dollhouse, Tru Calling, and more) replied to a tweet of mine! Perhaps the universe is telling me to not to take laxatives tonight or start ABC tomorrow/ do any behaviors this week like I was planning and start to write instead of spending my time obsessing about eating disorders. Haha, if 3 more important people reply to me/ @ me, I will certainly take it as a sign. (I do weird things like that, for instance, if my roommate texts me back within a minute I will fast for the rest of the day. Also, I like the number 5) I know I can't write or finish school with a full blown eating disorder. That said, I don't even know if I am a good writer, in fact, I probably suck...but who knows without an writer/author who actually knows what their talking about to say what they think. I used to enjoy it and I'd love to get something published.
So, what do you think? Is the universe telling me to get a hobby and write instead of relapse some more?
So, what do you think? Is the universe telling me to get a hobby and write instead of relapse some more?
AHHH! :D
Charisma Carpenter (actress in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Legend of the Seeker, Greek, The Expendables, Veronica Mars, and more.) replied to my tweet! It made my day!! Plus, her reply was funny. :)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Why I'd sign Rossum's Contract and how DH is like psychiatric treatment
Not Rossum's Universal Robots (Isaac Asmov)! In case you don't know, there is a show called Dollhouse whose premise is mind-wiping humans so they can have other personalities imprinted and then lending them to rich clients for various reasons. For instance, they could be lovers (most obvious application), bank robbers, spies, interrogators, or many, many other things. One can sign a contract to become a "doll" and have your mind erased for 5 years. After those 5 years you'll get your original mind back with a lot of money and some changes if necessary. I'd do it in a heartbeat.
No worries for five years? Who wouldn't?!
To become a doll, a nameless, faceless, invisible, childlike being, with no memory, no pain, pure bliss, who can fulfill someone's darkest wishes...sounds great to me.
And it would be a "true, genuine encounter". I would feel something, something real, something good. That would be great.
And I'd be healthy! No binging, no purging, no OVERexercising, no fasting, no restricting, no laxatives, diet pills, or diuretics...I'd have the urge to exercise normally, every day, my health would be monitored, nutrient dense food would be served for every meal, basically, I'd be healthier then ever!
Hell, they wouldn't even have to pay me! Tinker with a few things inside my head and we're even. First of all, get rid of those pesky mental illnesses. Bye, bye eating disorder, self-doubt, self-loathing, depression, social phobia and anxiety. Hello, outgoing, confident 25 year old. Next, erase some painful memories for me. Then, give me some survival skills/adaptive coping mechanisms. I'd like to be able to live in the real world, thanks. Right now, I question my ability to be truly independent. Also, if possible, give me some cool skills, like self-defense or medical knowledge. Oh! an understanding of theoretical physics!!
For the second topic: I recently realized The Dollhouse is like inpatient treatment! Huh?! What?!
Yep, it is true! Think about it! Everyone wants to "be their best" and try to do so by being extremely agreeable (on things other than food, etc) and working out a lot. Their actions had consequences. Some people sign on to treatment voluntarily. Others are coerced and still others are flat out forced. People are looking to escape the real world. They are hiding from something. The other side wants to escape the center. Many would love to erase traumatic memories. People hate themselves; consequently, they may want to be someone else for a while.
They are in a childlike state. Everything is taken care of, all control is taken away. You eat when they say, you go to the bathroom, talk on the phone, go to group, go to therapy when and where they tell you to. And if you're really bad you may just find yourself in restraints or sedated (it may be called the quiet room or the back, I shall now refer to it as the attic). There may be cameras everywhere. After all, you can't be exercising at night, now can you? People hang out in one big room (the millue). There is an onsite doctor who is probably sugary sweet. And you can't miss the handlers aka onsite techs. Dewitt can't be around all the time. In fact, you might never see the head. For me, IP represents safety and order, something I don't have on the outside.
*note* The above depends on where you go for treatment. I have specific places in mind for every aspect I mentioned though.
Do you agree? Is IP like the Dollhouse?
We could all use a ton of money afterward. Alas, instead of them paying us after 5 years, we pay them a lot of money after 5 months.
No worries for five years? Who wouldn't?!
To become a doll, a nameless, faceless, invisible, childlike being, with no memory, no pain, pure bliss, who can fulfill someone's darkest wishes...sounds great to me.
And it would be a "true, genuine encounter". I would feel something, something real, something good. That would be great.
And I'd be healthy! No binging, no purging, no OVERexercising, no fasting, no restricting, no laxatives, diet pills, or diuretics...I'd have the urge to exercise normally, every day, my health would be monitored, nutrient dense food would be served for every meal, basically, I'd be healthier then ever!
Hell, they wouldn't even have to pay me! Tinker with a few things inside my head and we're even. First of all, get rid of those pesky mental illnesses. Bye, bye eating disorder, self-doubt, self-loathing, depression, social phobia and anxiety. Hello, outgoing, confident 25 year old. Next, erase some painful memories for me. Then, give me some survival skills/adaptive coping mechanisms. I'd like to be able to live in the real world, thanks. Right now, I question my ability to be truly independent. Also, if possible, give me some cool skills, like self-defense or medical knowledge. Oh! an understanding of theoretical physics!!
For the second topic: I recently realized The Dollhouse is like inpatient treatment! Huh?! What?!
Yep, it is true! Think about it! Everyone wants to "be their best" and try to do so by being extremely agreeable (on things other than food, etc) and working out a lot. Their actions had consequences. Some people sign on to treatment voluntarily. Others are coerced and still others are flat out forced. People are looking to escape the real world. They are hiding from something. The other side wants to escape the center. Many would love to erase traumatic memories. People hate themselves; consequently, they may want to be someone else for a while.
They are in a childlike state. Everything is taken care of, all control is taken away. You eat when they say, you go to the bathroom, talk on the phone, go to group, go to therapy when and where they tell you to. And if you're really bad you may just find yourself in restraints or sedated (it may be called the quiet room or the back, I shall now refer to it as the attic). There may be cameras everywhere. After all, you can't be exercising at night, now can you? People hang out in one big room (the millue). There is an onsite doctor who is probably sugary sweet. And you can't miss the handlers aka onsite techs. Dewitt can't be around all the time. In fact, you might never see the head. For me, IP represents safety and order, something I don't have on the outside.
*note* The above depends on where you go for treatment. I have specific places in mind for every aspect I mentioned though.
Do you agree? Is IP like the Dollhouse?
We could all use a ton of money afterward. Alas, instead of them paying us after 5 years, we pay them a lot of money after 5 months.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Celebrities and Eating Disorders
Oddly, before this most recent relapse, I couldn't have cared less about celebrities. However, this time around I've gotten interested in a few actresses whose talent and bodies I envy. I would die for their bodies. I do not mean that literally at the moment. However, there was a point in my life where I would have rather died thin than lived as disgusting as I am now. I adore celebrities who are talented and beautiful but don't have bones sticking out everywhere. For instance, Miracle Laurie from Dollhouse or Amber Benson from Buffy (at least when she was on the show). Then there are those whose ribs jut out when they wear tight clothes. Eliza Dushku is thin, not emaciated, but most likely underweight (I can see chest bones and ribs- watch dollhouse or search google images *note* I am not accusing her or anyone of having and eating disorder). I noticed the other day that she follows the "Team True Beauty." I wonder if anyone in L.A. actually believes that inner beauty counts for much or if it is a PR or a feel-good thing. Clearly, one's looks are paramount in the acting business. I'd like to hear what she (Eliza) thinks about it. Also, how can pretty people say anything about inner-beauty? I'm not saying pretty people are not good or nice people or that they don't have to work for what they get. If you're beautiful but you are impossible to be around or you aren't good at something, beauty alone won't create success. I'm saying they haven't had to rely solely on their "inner-beauty" showing through.
Do you think celebrities really mean it when they say things about inner beauty or support ed recovery things, etc?
Additionally, psychological research has shown that physical appearance does affect people.
http://www.jyi.org/volumes/volume6/issue6/features/feng.html
Do you think celebrities really mean it when they say things about inner beauty or support ed recovery things, etc?
Additionally, psychological research has shown that physical appearance does affect people.
http://www.jyi.org/volumes/volume6/issue6/features/feng.html
A few rad links...
If you or someone you know likes Firefly (R.I.P) and you cross-stitch you can make a cool pattern with the crew!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/66541533/pixel-people-firefly-serenitys-crew-pdf
Fascinating book my Michio Kaku! It addresses time travel, aliens, telepathy, telekinesis, perpetual motion machines, alternate universes and more...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physics_of_the_Impossible
A neat blog entry that marries Dollhouse, philosophy and other Whedon shows, worth the read!
*MAJOR SPOILERS for Dollhouse, Buffy and Angel*
http://themothchase.wordpress.com/dollhouse/
http://www.etsy.com/listing/66541533/pixel-people-firefly-serenitys-crew-pdf
Fascinating book my Michio Kaku! It addresses time travel, aliens, telepathy, telekinesis, perpetual motion machines, alternate universes and more...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physics_of_the_Impossible
A neat blog entry that marries Dollhouse, philosophy and other Whedon shows, worth the read!
*MAJOR SPOILERS for Dollhouse, Buffy and Angel*
http://themothchase.wordpress.com/dollhouse/
Who is the crazy geek?
The Geek: Thanks to my dad, older brother and cable TV at Grandma's I grew up on a healthy diet of Dune, Stargate SG1, Roswell, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and Charmed. I'm a fan of Asimov, Marion Zimmer Bradely, Michio Kaku, Joss Whedon and many others. I'm studying psychology and I'm seriously thinking about going to grad school to do reasearch in Neurobiology.
(See: "I Should be Reading a Psychology Textbook..." for more)
(See: "I Should be Reading a Psychology Textbook..." for more)
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